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Purim: That’s How We Roll!

No celebration of Purim is complete without the reading of the M’gillat Esther. Jewish educator Shira Klein has developed for us this version of the Purim story, called “That’s How We Roll!” based on the JPS translation. Have fun reading the story, and don’t forget to boo Haman’s name!

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a Persian king who ruled from India all the way to Ethiopia. His royal pad was in the fortress of Shushan. There was one thing for which this king was famous, and it was his partying. This guy could go for months with nothing but a disco ball and vat of good royal wine. His name was Achashverosh. Most of the people with whom he partied were so drunk they couldn’t even pronounce his name.

King Achashverosh had been partying straight for 180 days. He had all the big names there, and he had all the big games. The Persian version of Wii, Xbox, iMax, iMacs…You name it, he had it all. There was one official rule everyone had to follow at this party: There are NO RULES! Do anything you want and as much of it as you want. It’s good to be the king, huh?

Excited to show off every last bit of his wealth, Achashverosh decided to enjoy a final Seven-Day Party Blowout for everyone in Shushan. The royal decorators went to town draping everything with gold. The royal winemakers prepared enough drink that no one would go thirsty for a second.

On the last day, when the king and his friends barely could touch their fingers to their noses, Achashverosh felt it would be a good time to bring in his hot-stuff queen, Vashti. He ordered Mehuman, Bizzetha, Harbona, Bigthan, Abagtha, Zethar and Carcas (the seven royal eunuchs) to bring in the gorgeous Queen Vashti wearing nothing but the royal diadem. (Know what a diadem is? Google Image it!)

But Vashti was having her own party, and she wasn’t thrilled at the idea of appearing before a house full of the king’s rowdy friends. So, possibly for the first time in history, this queen said, “NO.”

The king was like, “WHAT? You can’t say no to me!” So he fired her on the spot. She was booted from the kingdom that very day. And then, worried that the queen’s behavior would be a bad influence on wives everywhere, he sent out a royal edict and created a new law to ensure that all wives, high and low alike, would treat their husbands with respect.

Download and print a PDF copy of
the full text of “That’s How We Roll!” »

Back to Celebrate Purim!

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